Edella B. Pondoc

EDELLA PONDOC

Born November 3, 1931 in Merida, Leyte (Philippines).  Died September 5, 2023, in Meadowbrook Nursing Home, Plattsburgh, New York.

In life, Edella was a woman of iron will.  Resourceful, courageous, fiercely determined, self-sacrificing for her young children, steadfast in her Catholic piety, a person who never wavered once she arrived at a conviction about a belief or a goal.

She was born in a coastal town in the Philippines.  Her father was a trader of “copra” (dried coconut kernels), her mother a part-time teacher.  She was the youngest of  5 children (two brothers, two sisters).  Her family disintegrated — through deaths due to the war or sickness.  When the Japanese invaded the Philippines in WWII, the only ones surviving were herself, her older sister (Visitacion Williams, d.2009), and their mother.  During the war, their mother died from TB.  She was 11 years old and her sister 14 years old when they became orphans.  Becoming dependent upon relatives in the midst of horrific times, Edella realized, so early in life, that she must be very strong to survive and to overcome.  Thus she strived to be dutiful and hardworking.  She appreciated being able to go to school.  She dreamed of becoming a doctor.

With no one and no resources to help her go to college she went to trade school — tailoring and cosmetology.  After marriage, she and our father (Benedicto, d.1991) established a tailoring shop and beauty parlor in Manila.  Their business thrived well enough while they began our own family.  She had always been the brains and the drive in that enterprise.

Her passion was to give her children a chance to succeed and to rise in society.  Edella was the epic “Tiger Mom”.  She valued academic excellence and encouraged ambition.  She had little tolerance for frivolity, self-pity, self-indulgence, and wasting of opportunities.  She feared that such habits were a recipe for failure.

In 1972 some wealthy clients invited her to go with them on a trip to the US.  She found in this a rare and serendipitous chance of a lifetime.  She had been worrying that her small business would not support future college education for her 3 children in prestigious universities in the Philippines.  So she took a calculated risk, sold the family business, took only the minimal amount from the proceeds, and entrusted the rest for the upkeep of our family when she left us.

She came to the USA to find job immediately.  She was a gifted seamstress, intelligent and diligent, and she found work right away in the then-thriving sewing factories in New Jersey (where she happened to have well-to-do relatives ).  The relatives were happy to see her and have her around, yet still she endeavored to be independent and productive.  Her one goal was to provide for her family back in the Philippines.  She scrimped every penny, indulged in nothing superfluous for herself, often sent care packages of American goodies (canned goods, candy, clothes), and sent much of her meager earnings supporting our family.

Meanwhile, she did make a few American friends, all of whom appreciated her sincere helpfulness, her unquestionable integrity, and her occasional cooking of Filipino foods.

More importantly, she worked hard on getting her status normalized — retaining the services of a competent lawyer (a devout Catholic, who admired her piety and integrity).  He did much to secure for her a working visa.  Her employers were more than happy, due to her excellent work ethic and job performance, to vouch for her and to sponsor her quest for legalization.

In 1982 she was granted legal immigrant status.  She had, by law, to return to the Philippines to await definitive approval and receipt of her “green card” at the
American Embassy in Manila.  As a legal immigrant, she had the privilege to take a minor child with her when going back to the US.   She took her youngest.  From then on, the path to citizenship was straightforward.  One of the happiest and proudest days of her life was when she became an American citizen in 1987.

Most of her dreams came true.  Her oldest child became a doctor, her second child a mechanical engineer.   Successful in their professions.   A source of joy and pride, and of genuine respect from friends and society.   All her life’s experiences of hardships, uncertainty, and being looked-down upon atoned for by their achievements.  She was also very grateful that they will never be financially insecure.

Her youngest veered off the path she had painstakingly paved, much to her disappointment. In due time, she came to realize that there’s much to be grateful for.  The youngest child has turned out to be a productive member of society and a decent human being.

Edella lived 15 years in New Jersey, bought a home (with her sister) in Georgia where she lived for 31 years.  After retirement, she volunteered at her parish church, led Novena services for the Filipino community in Augusta, and stayed busy with various hobbies. She loved gardening (gave the fruits of her prolific persimmon tree to everyone whether they liked it or not), dabbled in backyard chicken raising, and was a lover and breeder of parakeets.  She took good care of her loyal and fierce protector,  big dog Bumster.  She also loved to sing, and had a pitch-perfect beautiful voice.

By 2019, old age had caught up with her and spinal stenosis had crippled her so she had to be moved to Plattsburgh, New York to be looked after by her youngest child.  Dementia and frequent falls eventually necessitated full-time care at the Meadowbrook Nursing Home.

It was her constant prayer in life that God would grant her a peaceful passing.   After her third bout with COVID, she succumbed quickly due to the worsening frailties of mind and body.  She died alone, in isolation due to COVID protocols.  Her youngest child did manage to see her a couple more times, request for comfort care and Last Rites, and say final goodbyes and words of love.  Edella’s spirit, soon after, had decided to spring for that eternal freedom.

Her ashes will make a return journey to the Philippines, to be laid next to the grave of our father.  Holy Masses and full Catholic rites of interment await her remains.

PEACE be to your spirit, Edella.  Tiger Mother, fierce provider, unbreakable soul.  Love, for you, was not about tenderness.  It was about full commitment and self-sacrifice, defying all obstacles or reasons for discouragement, and holding on to your faith in Providence, no matter the unavoidable hurts in the wake of your devotion to our welfare.  You are loved, and we thank and honor your memory.

— Ramon, Rafael, Maria Cristina